Now I can't analyze this problem more than just from what she tells me, but it sounds like from that statement and from others she made that her show of love is more effusive when children are obedient than when they aren't.
This is a dangerous practice and here is why. If you show more love for your child when they are obedient than when they are disobedient, you are signalling that your love is "conditional" upon their behavior. This will make them feel unloved and they will rebel, or have hard times or low self esteem.
Your show of love has to be equal to every child whether they are behaving poorly or well. You can take away PRIVELEGES when they misbehave....but not your show of love.
Children need to know you love them unconditionally, whether they are good or badly behaved. This love empowers them to behave better. As they become confident in your love, they will want to please you more...if they think your love is conditional, they won't want to please you at all. They will be bitter and resentful.
So it's good to analyze once in awhile, whether your show of love is unconditional. It makes a big difference.