Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Should you Spank your Child?


This is a hot topic that inspires debate, but my inclination is to say...probably not.  In raising five children, I have tried spanking, but it never worked well.  Punishment usually drives the behavior underground, and also gives the child a reason to think, well I paid for my misbehavior.  He won't feel the good type of guilt that will help him not repeat the behavior.  Also, if spanking is done in anger it teaches a child that it's all right to strike someone when you get angry.  Children learn more from what we do than what we say.

A better way is teaching, listening, and when necessary taking away priveleges, such as freedom, a toy, or driving the car.  If your young child is having trouble sharing, listen to him, teach him a better way, ask him how to solve the problem.  Then if the problem continues, you can take the toy away until he and his sibling figure out a way to solve their problem.

If your teen is having trouble turning in assignments, or getting to school on time, talk to them.  Ask them to find ways to solve the problem, and be willing to try them.  If the child seems unwilling to change, you may have to take away the car or his iphone until the behavior gets better.  Always teach that this is because priveleges come with fulfilling one's responsiblities.  This is how the real world works, and if they learn it at home, it will help them to be successful in the world.

Teaching, not punishing, will preserve the strong parent-child relationship that helps you to have influence over your children.

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