Happy Mother's Day!

You are amazing!

What to Do if you Make a Parenting Mistake

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You are not alone.  We all make parenting mistakes.  Often.  Don't beat yourself up.  Just learn from it.  Try to do better next time.  Forgive yourself.  You will find your children are very forgiving.  I can't count how many mistakes I have made, but when I apologize, all is forgiven, and we even laugh about it together.  Often the conversations that happen after the apology are very precious and build your relationship even stronger.  If you keep making the same mistake over and over, just keep trying.  Do not give up.  You will get stronger over time and as you get more sleep.  I remember I would sometimes get grumpy at my kids when they kept getting out of bed at night.  A short fuse from little sleep.  But all that has gone away.  I got better over time....and you will too.  Forgive yourself.  You will get stronger and your parenting skills will grow with time and experience.  I know this from my own experience.  Today I found myself not getting angry when my child made unreasonable demands in a rude voice.  I calmly told her the right way to ask me, and she immediately fixed the problem with no drama.  I thought...boy I've come a long way, to be able to do that.  And you will to.

You do So Much Good in the World

My Secret to Success!

I am not joking.  I take naps.  All.  The. Time.  I hope you do too.  If you are a mother you need naps and you should take them when you can get them.  I am way less grumpy with my kids, more productive, and things look less overwhelming when I've had a nap.  So don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty about taking naps.  They will help you be a better mom.

Which Parenting Method should you Use?

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These days, parenting methods are as numerous as the sands of the sea, and it can be confusing to parents who want to do what's best for their children.  Which method will work best?  Which methods are doomed to fail?  After reading many parenting books and through much experimentation, I have realized one truth.  Many parenting methods work for many different people.  There is not one "true" method.  You have to be willing to experiment with what works for your personality, and for your children's personalities.  Personally, I have patched together a parenting method using several different sources and techniques gleaned from books and people, as kind of a "middle road" approach that works well for my particular children.

There is one truth however, that will help ANY parenting method succeed....and that is consistency.  Your parenting methods will fail if you keep switching them around every other day and don't follow through on your rules every time.  If you aren't consistent with whatever method you choose, you will only confuse your children, and they will have a hard time being successful.

This means you and your husband have to be on the same page.  You have to agree on a parenting style and stick to it.  This is not to say you can never change.  But once you have determined what works, be consistent in how you follow through on rules and consequences...and do it together.  Do not undermine each other.  Talk together, plan and agree about your goals, and then put your plan into action.

When changes need to be made, discuss them together, and then WARN the children that you are about to make a change.  Tell them why.  Get them on board with what you are trying to do. Have them make suggestions.  Their "buy-in" will help your whole family in the long run.

Then, when everyone is on the same page, start your new or revised method, making sure to be consistent.  Children can sense weakness in your resolve, and being children, they will try to use that to their advantage, so be strong.  Believe enough in what you are doing that you want to follow through.  Sometimes I have to pray for strength to do this....and it's interesting that it always works.  Every time.

Consistency and love.  Those are the keys to success.  The parenting method is up to you.