Words of Wisdom

I couldn't enlarge this any more, but I had to post it anyway because I loved it so much!

Which Parenting Method should you Use?

(frugalcouponliving.com)

These days, parenting methods are as numerous as the sands of the sea, and it can be confusing to parents who want to do what's best for their children.  Which method will work best?  Which methods are doomed to fail?  After reading many parenting books and through much experimentation, I have realized one truth.  Many parenting methods work for many different people.  There is not one "true" method.  You have to be willing to experiment with what works for your personality, and for your children's personalities.  Personally, I have patched together a parenting method using several different sources and techniques gleaned from books and people, as kind of a "middle road" approach that works well for my particular children.

There is one truth however, that will help ANY parenting method succeed....and that is consistency.  Your parenting methods will fail if you keep switching them around every other day and don't follow through on your rules every time.  If you aren't consistent with whatever method you choose, you will only confuse your children, and they will have a hard time being successful.

This means you and your husband have to be on the same page.  You have to agree on a parenting style and stick to it.  This is not to say you can never change.  But once you have determined what works, be consistent in how you follow through on rules and consequences...and do it together.  Do not undermine each other.  Talk together, plan and agree about your goals, and then put your plan into action.

When changes need to be made, discuss them together, and then WARN the children that you are about to make a change.  Tell them why.  Get them on board with what you are trying to do. Have them make suggestions.  Their "buy-in" will help your whole family in the long run.

Then, when everyone is on the same page, start your new or revised method, making sure to be consistent.  Children can sense weakness in your resolve, and being children, they will try to use that to their advantage, so be strong.  Believe enough in what you are doing that you want to follow through.  Sometimes I have to pray for strength to do this....and it's interesting that it always works.  Every time.

Consistency and love.  Those are the keys to success.  The parenting method is up to you.

So True!

I loved this one too!

(smartsassymom.com)

Your Child's Personality

(source: parenting.uwex.edu)

I wanted to write a post about personality types because when you raise your children you are going to have to take into account all their different personalties.  You may have one child that is very strong-willed and another who will crumble when you look at her funny.  You may have a child who organizes herself and makes checklists for school projects, and another who struggles just to finish assignments.  You may have an introvert who is happy staying at home, or an extrovert who needs constant interaction and playdates.

These are things you are going to have to notice.  You will need to figure out each child's strengths and weaknesses so that you are able to best determine how to help them.  Your child who struggles to finish?  You may decide you need to teach him ways to focus by assigning him jobs at home and working with him until he learns to focus.  Your really organized child?  You may have to teach her how to not be so bossy so she can have better friendships at school.

Also, a child's personality will affect the way you discipline.  I had a child who needed very strict boundaries, and one who could control herself and so only needed light guidance.  You will need to experiment and be aware to figure out what works for each child.  I do not think you should treat every child the same, even though that may seem more fair.  No amount of discipline or teaching will  help the child if it does not work well with his personality.

Another thing to remember is that a teenager's personality will change, sometimes monthly, so you may have to change your parenting a little as they get to be that age.  They are experimenting with who they are going to become and what feels comfortable to them, so be flexible and change your style temporarily when needed.  As they get older they will settle into their normal personalities.

One more thing I wanted to mention.  Never tell the child he/she is a certain type, and do not label them, lazy, or stubborn, or things like that.  This will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Children will act the way you expect them to.  If you are expecting your child to be a rebellious or lazy soul and treat them that way....they will become that way.  Just notice within yourself and adjust your parenting techniques accordingly.  Expect the best of your children and they will try to live up to it.

Here is another good article on discovering your child's temperament at a very young age.  Also sometimes it is enlightening to think about Meyers-Briggs personality types in trying to understand your children, which are explained in a book called, "Please Understand Me" by  David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates.

(Amazon.com)

But remember, children and teens don't grow into their full personalities until adulthood so don't stick them into a certain type and leave them there.  You need to be flexible and just notice tendencies and use techniques to work with them.