Teach children to be nice

Oh my goodness, I usually don't like to laugh at other people's expense.....but this one really had me chuckling!  The poor man!  It's good to teach children not to do things like this...even if they are really funny.  Oh, now I feel really bad, but I just can't help myself...

(source: original 106 FM)

I'm on vacation this week, so check back next week for more parenting ideas!

Is Television bad for your Children?

(source: guardianlv.com)

I just read two articles that made me want to really cut down on my kids' t.v. watching.
Thought I'd share:

1. T.V. the opiate of the masses
2. Watching Television is Detremental to Children in a Recent Harvard Study.

Friday Favorite Family Pins

Today is the day I post some of my favorite pins that support families!  Click on the caption to go to the sites.  I'm in a bit of a rush, so I can only post a few today, but more next week!

HOW TO CUT YOUR CHILD'S HAIR

(source: parents.com)

skinnymom.com

(source: lamberslately.com)

Have a great weekend!!!

Inspiration for parents

I thought you might enjoy these quotes on the influence of motherhood.

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Teaching Young Children Responsibility and Self-Control

(source: blog.prevention.com)

We have a saying at our house:  You are the KING of you!  We usually teach this at family night, with fake crowns, the idea being to teach the concept that each child can control his or her own body.  They are in charge of every decision they make.  And they need to be responsible for those choices.

We usually do some role plays along with this, showing how they can be the "king" or "queen" of their own selves in any situation, even if they are confronted with temptation.  Because we do this, we are then able to say "Who is the king of you?" when they try to say things like, "It wasn't my fault!"

This imagery really works with young children, and I even remind my teens of it sometimes.  Children WANT to be kings and in charge of SOMETHING.  So they really like to think of it that way.  Usually after we remind them that they are kings, they use self-control better and try hard to do what is right.

Hope this helps your children as much as it does mine!

Teaching Teens Self-Control in a digital Age

(source: teenblab.com)

How much control should parents exercise over their teens?  Should you let your son get that mohawk?  Should you control what music they listen to?  How about what they watch?  In our family we've come up with a solution that seems to work, helping teens stay safe, without taking away their experience in making choices.  The solution is that we teach our teens and even our younger children self-control.  This is a method that uses teaching, rather than control, and it requires a bit more effort as you must continue to teach over time and keep tabs on what your child is doing.  But it is worth it, because the benefit is that when the child leaves home, he will be ready to control himself and stay safe from things that may harm him.

When my husband was a bishop in our church, he counseled a lot of college youth.  One thing he found was that college age kids who came from homes where they didn't have experience choosing good things because parents controlled everything they watched and listened to, had a lot of trouble with self-control when they left home.  They just didn't have the experience needed to stay safe in a digital world.

So we decided after that to teach our teens self-control.  We can't be everywhere with our teens.  They are going to have opportunities to do things we don't agree with and that might be harmful to them.  So we spend a lot of time educating them about choices and consequences during our family night and during family dinner, and also as we drive them places.  We don't always lecture, we try to make it a discussion so the teens can apply what they are learning in their every day lives.

(source: www.autoguide.com)

Here is an example of one way that we teach.  When we are in the car, I let my teens have control over the radio music we listen to.  I have spent a lot of time talking to them about the power music has, and that it is important for them to choose good music that is uplifting. Because I let them have control, I am able to watch how they are doing.  Do they notice that the song has swear words in it?  If so, do they turn it to something else right away?  If not, it is my opportunity to teach some more.  We talk about why listening to music with swear words in it might not be a good idea.  I also let them have control over what they watch, but I keep a close eye on it.  If something is not right, we have more teaching moments.  Usually these turn into bonding experiences, especially as we teach with love.

This method has worked really well.  My teens seem to be gaining practice and experience in controlling themselves with media, and if they make mistakes, we talk to them right away about how they feel about it, and what they can do to not have harmful consequences.  If we have accidentally given them too much freedom, too early, before they are mature enough to handle it, we go back and take control until they are mature enough to handle it.

Another thing is, we try to let teens have control in things that don't matter, such as how they wear their hair.  If they want to get a mohawk, we let them.  If they want to eat 5 donuts and get sick...we let them try that.  It usually only happens once.  This is because teens will try to express their individuality and experiment, and it is better if they experiment on things that won't harm them.  Let them find out that their parents were right, and they shouldn't have procrastinated that school project so much.  This will improve your credibility and they will learn faster.  But always be teaching along the way and offering support...not taking away their consequences, but telling them you love them.  You can ask them how they can do better in the future.  Remember that different children will be more or less mature and you will have to gauge how to treat each one individually according to their maturity.

Because we let teens have control in things that don't matter, it gives us the leeway to control in things that ARE harmful.  We give them strong boundaries against truly harmful things.  For instance, we don't let our kids go to parties with alcohol or drugs.  We teach that being around that kind of thing over time will break down their resistance and they will eventually succumb to peer pressure.  We don't let our kids look at pornography because we teach that it is harmful and addictive.  We also don't let them go to rated R movies, and we teach that they need to make sure the PG13's aren't harmful before they watch them, though we let them choose what PG13's they watch, so they can gain experience.  We let our children choose what they wear, but we teach strongly that they need to be modest to avoid serious consequences in attracting the wrong kind of attention.  If my daughter chooses something questionable, usually I teach some more and she decides to wear something else.  Because I have spent a lot of time loving her, with the 5 love languages, she listens to me.   So you have to take a look at your own personal and family standards and see what to control and not control, and what you think will be harmful, and what doesn't matter.

(source: compassionatesolutions.ca)

One last note...children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care.  So keep giving them those love languages, so that they are ready and willing to listen to you when you teach.

I hope this helps your family.  It is definitely something you have to constantly work on and watch over.  But given experience under your watchful eye, your teens should be ready to control themselves better once they leave home.

My Favorite Recipe Book

(source: firstoptiononline.com)

You may have been wondering why I never post any fast recipes for busy families like I do on my writing blog.  Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyway because it's going to CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!  And after I posted about how important family dinner is to families, I needed to give some practical advice on how to make that happen!

The reason I haven't been posting fast recipes for the busy mother is because I no longer NEED them.  Because I found the greatest recipe book on earth. (That may be the humorist exaggeration taking over in me, but it's how I feel.)  The book is called, Slow Cooker Revolution, by America's Test Kitchen.

I do not exaggerate when I say I cook out of this every day.  It is full of slow cooker recipes that do not look and taste like mush at the end of the day.  They use real ingredients and the spices they use give it amazing flavor.  My kids LOVE everything I have made from this book, as does my husband.  No, this is not an infomercial, this is just a mother saying to all of you people like me who struggle to get dinner on when we are so busy parenting and writing;  this will solve your problem!

I just put it on in the morning and go.  One less thing to worry about....and there are tons of recipes for every taste, which is why I can cook out of it every day.  You will also save money and increase your family's healthiness  by cooking things from scratch instead of relying on ready-made foods.   I hope it helps your family as much as it helped mine!

Happy parenting!  You'll have much more time to do it now!

Kid Humor

Ha ha ha!!

(source: Sasha Carey)

Your Child's Personality

(source: parenting.uwex.edu)

I wanted to write a post about personality types because when you raise your children you are going to have to take into account all their different personalties.  You may have one child that is very strong-willed and another who will crumble when you look at her funny.  You may have a child who organizes herself and makes checklists for school projects, and another who struggles just to finish assignments.  You may have an introvert who is happy staying at home, or an extrovert who needs constant interaction and playdates.

These are things you are going to have to notice.  You will need to figure out each child's strengths and weaknesses so that you are able to best determine how to help them.  Your child who struggles to finish?  You may decide you need to teach him ways to focus by assigning him jobs at home and working with him until he learns to focus.  Your really organized child?  You may have to teach her how to not be so bossy so she can have better friendships at school.

Also, a child's personality will affect the way you discipline.  I had a child who needed very strict boundaries, and one who could control herself and so only needed light guidance.  You will need to experiment and be aware to figure out what works for each child.  I do not think you should treat every child the same, even though that may seem more fair.  No amount of discipline or teaching will  help the child if it does not work well with his personality.

Another thing to remember is that a teenager's personality will change, sometimes monthly, so you may have to change your parenting a little as they get to be that age.  They are experimenting with who they are going to become and what feels comfortable to them, so be flexible and change your style temporarily when needed.  As they get older they will settle into their normal personalities.

One more thing I wanted to mention.  Never tell the child he/she is a certain type, and do not label them, lazy, or stubborn, or things like that.  This will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Children will act the way you expect them to.  If you are expecting your child to be a rebellious or lazy soul and treat them that way....they will become that way.  Just notice within yourself and adjust your parenting techniques accordingly.  Expect the best of your children and they will try to live up to it.

Here is another good article on discovering your child's temperament at a very young age.  Also sometimes it is enlightening to think about Meyers-Briggs personality types in trying to understand your children, which are explained in a book called, "Please Understand Me" by  David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates.

(Amazon.com)

But remember, children and teens don't grow into their full personalities until adulthood so don't stick them into a certain type and leave them there.  You need to be flexible and just notice tendencies and use techniques to work with them.

Helping Children Develop Talents

(source: kaeleedenise.com)

When I was a young mother and I heard about crazy busy families rushing around to all kinds of different child activities, I thought to myself, "I will NEVER do that."  I wanted a more peaceful life for my family.

But when my children started their pre-teen years I noticed their self-esteem was down a little bit.  After some investigation, I realized that I needed to help them to develop talents as one of the ways to help them feel good about themselves.  As soon as I enrolled my daughters in gymnastics and my sons in soccer, their whole world changed and they really gained confidence in themselves.  I also found that their ability to work was increased as they labored to become better at something they really cared about.

So over the years I have become a crazy busy mother, rushing around, but trying to keep it in perspective.  I usually only let them do one music class and one sport class.   At times it feels crazy with five kids doing ten different things, but I feel it is worth the sacrifice, in order to help my kids gain confidence.   Here are some tips to use as you think about discovering your own kids' talents and passions:

• Let them choose for themselves, but instead of offering them the world, give them a list to choose one thing from that you feel your family is capable of maintaining.
• Try to find activities they can walk to, so you aren't driving so much.
• Use the buddy system, have older siblings help with driving or walking to activities.
• Let them change activities after they finish one season.  Children need to experiment to find the things they love.
• Let them try things they don't think they'll be good at.  They may be surprised.
• Give lots of positive reinforcement...not criticism.
• Don't be the parent shouting at your child on the sidelines.  This is embarrassing to them.
• Instead of telling your child to practice, link practicing instruments to privileges.  Say, "sure you can play with your friends as soon as you get your practicing and homework done."  This eliminates the power struggle when you just tell them to practice.
• Start small.  Let them join a local Parks and Rec program rather than a full blown soccer club until they are older.  Kids change their minds a lot and you want to be sure they are really interested before you invest a lot of time or money.
• Younger kids need less activities than older kids.  They need more time with you, so be sure you are taking into consideration their age level and their personality types (introverts will want to be home more than extroverts).
• Use driving time to bond and talk with younger siblings who are along for the ride.

These tips will really help your family as you journey to find your own child's unique talents and abilities.

Teaching Children to Handle Anger

source: nogreaterjoy.org

As promised in an earlier post, I want to tackle the prickly subject of how to teach children to handle anger.  I teach my children that anger is like an 'alarm clock'.  It is the body's protective alarm signaling "something is wrong."  When they feel themselves getting angry, they need to stop, calm down, and think, what is wrong?  How can I fix this problem?

Some parents try and suppress children's anger, teaching them that it is 'bad'.  This is dangerous because it can lead to passive aggressive behavior.  Passive-aggressive behavior is when a strong emotion is suppressed such as anger or sadness, and it sort of leaks out of the person in their actions.  You see this when you see teens rebelling, being promiscuous, or wearing lots of rebellious clothing.  It is usually because the child needs to figure out and express and work out verbally the anger or strong emotions that they are feeling.  Children and teens in rebellion are not consciously aware of the anger they are feeling.  If you ask them, usually they don't know why they feel so unhappy.

So, it is important to keep talking with your children and teens about their struggles...even if some of it comes out angry.  It is WAY better for them to express anger verbally than through their actions.

Dr. Ross Campbell in his book, "How to Really Love your Child," talked about the Anger Ladder.  This is a chart where you can see where your child is at in terms of expressing his anger in a healthy way:  the worst being passive aggressive behavior, and the best being a calm, even pleasant response that seeks resolution.  Once you determine where your child is on the ladder, you are then supposed to move them up one rung at a time, focusing on the positives, helping them to be aware of how they are handling anger.  You may say later after things have calmed down, "I really loved how you didn't hit your sister, great job!  Maybe next time we can work on not yelling so much.  Do you think you could express your feelings in a normal voice?"

Remember that this process will move very slowly.  It will probably take until they are eighteen years old for them to master a healthy response to anger.  However, it is worth it.  We've all seen adults that still throw tantrums.  Unhealthy expressions of anger can really hurt your child socially and even professionally as they grow into adulthood.

Here is the Anger Ladder from Ross Campbell's book.  I hope it helps your family as much as it did mine!!

The Anger Ladder

Source: Ross Campbell, Kids in Danger, pg 69.

POSITIVE

1. Pleasant, seeking resolution, focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint, thinking logically2. Pleasant, focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint, thinking logically

POSITIVE;  NEGATIVE

3. Focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint, thinking logically; unpleasant, loud
4. Holding to primary complaint, thinking logically; unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources
5. Focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint; unpleasant, loud, verbal abuse
6. Thinking logically; unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources, expressing unrelated complaints

PRIMARILY NEGATIVE

7. Unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources, expressing unrelated complaints, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior
8. Unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources, expressing unrelated complaints, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior, verbal abuse
9. Unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources, expressing unrelated complaints, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior, verbal abuse, cursing
10. Focusing anger on source; unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, throwing objects, emotionally destructive behavior
11. Unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, throwing objects, emotionally destructive behavior

NEGATIVE:

12. Focusing anger on source, unpleasant, loud, cursing, destroying property, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior
13. Unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, destroying property, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior
14. Unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, destroying property, verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotionally destructive behavior
15. Passive-aggressive behavior

Family Vacations

(source: fedupusa.org)

Whether it's a trip to Disneyland or a hike to a local waterfall, family vacations are important to families.  The reason is that it allows your family to get away from the craziness of the world for awhile and bond with each other.  Building that bond is important....brother/sister, father/son, mother/daughter and all the other combinations.  That bond is what helps children to know they are loved, it helps them to have stability in times of stress, it gives them good memories and feelings to draw upon, and it is an opportunity to express all the languages of love to your children and your spouse.  Think about it...you spend quality time together, you give each other words of affirmation as you learn new things, you may give each other small gifts, and you do acts of service as you get ready, come home, and even while you are there.  It is amazing how family vacations can draw even struggling relationships closer together.

Here are some tips for making the most of your family vacations, big or small:

1. Choose and plan where to go together as a family
2. Build up the excitement by reading and searching on the web things about your destination and sharing them with the family.
3. Pack, but don't stress.  Give the kids a checklist to pack themselves and then check their bags over.  This will increase their involvement, excitement and responsibility.  There is usually a store where you can pick up things you forgot.
4. While you travel, read the history to the kids of the places you visit.  This increases enjoyment.
5. When you get there, decide together what things are important to you.  You could let each child pick one thing.  Ownership also increases enjoyment.
6. Take LOTS of pictures!  And even videos!  (After a recent death in the family, I am really committed to doing this!)
7. After you get home, spend time talking about what you loved, and maybe make a scrapbook for the kids to look at again and again.  This will increase appreciation, and also bring back those special feelings every time they look at the memories.

Fathers are so Important!

Favorite Father's Day Pins

Don't forget to honor Dad tomorrow!  Here are my favorite last minute ideas:  (Click on the caption to go to the source)

(source: pinterest)

(source: pinterest)

(use walmart.com 1 hr. photo for the idea below)

(source: pinterest)

(http://www.pinterest.com)

(source: pinterest)

(source: pinterest)

(source: pinterest)

(source: pinterest)

(source: pinterest)

(source: pinterest)

AND for more Father's Day ideas....check out my Pinterest board HERE!

Summer Contest/Prizes for Families!

I'm teaming up with another author to offer you all a chance to enter a Star Spangled Summer contest!  Laurie L. C. Lewis is the author of several wonderful patriotic historical fiction novels.  The contest is a chance for families to learn more about their American hertiage and win great prizes by many authors who have teamed up to make it really fun!

Here's Laurie with the details:

This summer marks the anniversaries of some profound American history. The sesquicentennial of the Civil War continues this summer, and August and September mark the 200th of anniversary of significant historical events from the War of 1812. 

August 14th will mark the 200th anniversary of the British burning of America's capital, Washington D.C., including the torching of the White House, known then as The President's House, and the Capitol, which then housed the original Library of Congress. Along with these American architectural treasures, thousands of irreplaceable volumes were lost from our nation's library. 

September 12-13 will mark the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Baltimore, the birth of The Star-Spangled Banner, and the moment America began its love affair with the red, white, and blue,.

Sadly, economic issues and budget cuts have forced the cancellation of many public celebrations planned to mark these poignant events.

So families, it’s time to hit the road and create your own Star-Spangled Summer Adventure! 

Laurie L.C. Lewis, author of the “Freemen and Dreamers” series, which covers this period of history, and some of her author friends are hosting this Star-Spangled Summer Celebration to encourage families to rediscover America and her history. You visit local, state, or federal landmarks with your family, and we’ll provide some added incentive.

Here’s how you enter:

1.       Visit five American historical landmarks, (even your local landmarks count), between Flag Day, June 14th, and Defender’s Day, September 12th.

2.       Email photos of your family standing in front of a sign or building indicating where you went. Use this email address: starspangledsummeradventure@gmail.com

That’s it!

Additional entries will be awarded for those who promote the SSSA by posting the official badge and link on their blog, and link to it via their Facebook page, or on Twitter.  Just send an email with the corresponding link to starspangledsummeradventure@gmail.com

Additional entries can also be earned by submitting a brief, (250 words or less), testimonial recounting your experience on a leg of your “Star-Spangled Adventure.” These will be posted on my blog over the summer.

One family will be selected to win the prize package on September 13th. Visit the official Star-Spangled Summer Adventure page at  http://www.laurielclewis.com/summer-adventure.htm. 

Prizes are still coming in, but the package now includes a Vivitar Digital Video Recorder; a $50 gift card to Bed, Bath, and Beyond; a commemorative set of the Charters of Freedom, suitable for framing; and a family-worthy collection of autographed books from authors in a variety of genres.

So hit the road, and let us see what great American history you find!

Warmly,

Laurie L. C. Lewis

Kid Humor

(source: themetapicture.com)

So True!

(source: parentingbeyondpunishment)

When to forgive your Child

(source: realsimple.com)

What happens when your child makes a mistake?  Do you get upset when they break your best lamp while playing indoor baseball (happened to me)....or when they back up with a broom, making a large hole in your front door (happened to me).  What is the best thing to do?

I can tell you when my kids did those things, I was not too happy.  But one of the incidents I completely forgave, and the other I gave a consequence.  The reason is that one was an unforeseen accident (the broom), and one was a blatant disregard for the rules they knew they should obey (not playing baseball in the house).

When your child has made a mistake and you can see that he/she already feels really bad about it, that may be punishment enough, depending on your child's temperament.   The reason is this:  a consequence gives the feeling that one has paid for the crime, and sometimes takes away guilt.  But some guilt is good, if it motivates them to not want to do it again.

So use your judgement....if the child already feels guilty about what they did and you can see that they probably don't need a consequence, you can just discuss it with them, and help them to make a plan to not have it happen again in the future.  Don't yell at them and try to make them feel guilty.  This is harmful.  Just notice if they are feeling bad, and ask them how to prevent future mishaps to help them not have to feel bad again.  (i.e. "Johnny, I can see that you feel really bad about doing this.  I understand that you made a mistake and I forgive you.  How can we prevent this from happening again?).

You want your child to know how to forgive others, and you can teach them best through example.  You also want them to know that forgiveness is available to them spiritually when they make mistakes.  So every once in awhile, consider forgiveness instead of a consequence if the conditions are right, and let their own guilt motivate them to do better.  It's good for them.

The Birds and the Bees

(source: sheknows.com)

Talking with your kids about sex is happening earlier than it did when I was a child, because life is a lot different and kids are growing up faster these days.  We like to start when they are eight years old because that is when they are old enough to understand, yet not so old as to get too embarrassed by the subject. And it means we, hopefully, beat their peers and the schools in educating them, so we can give it the treatment we want our kids to hear.   It is important to educate your kids about this subject so they are protected from wrong information and from peer pressure to do things they are not ready for....and to protect them from teen pregnancy.

Another thing to note, is that I have a friend who works at Washington State University doing a study on what works when talking to kids about sex and prevention of teen pregnancy.  She said that they found that if the kids were made to feel guilty or bad about it, then it was LESS successful at preventing problems, than if they were taught the subject in a matter of fact way that didn't make them feel bad, or in a way that helped them feel good about self control.

There are two books we use when broaching this subject with our kids.  And we chose them for the fact that they make the kids feel good about the whole subject and self-control.

The first is called, "How to talk to your Child about Sex" by Linda and Richard Eyre.  They also have a great parenting website.

And the second book is called, "Where did I come From?" by Peter Mayle.

And later when kids are going into puberty, we like to use this book, called "What is happening to me?" by Peter Mayle. (although we do like to edit a couple of these pages with our own slant on things)

We usually take our kids on a parent/child date and eat a nice dinner and then talk about things afterward.  My kids love it and look forward to their "Great to be Eight" date!  Hope it works for you as well as it did for us!

Children and Teens need strong Boundaries

(yanphoto.com)

Children, especially teens, think they'll be happier with less rules.  This is actually untrue.  I accidentally proved it with my teenage boy recently.  For some reason I thought, he's old enough for me to relax a little bit and give him more freedom (he's sixteen).  But apparently he wasn't.  He started being late for his curfew, ignoring dinner, and being really grumpy with his parents.  He wasn't quite mature enough to handle his freedom, and so we went back to the way things were.  And as soon as we did?  He was his old cheerful, helpful, responsible self again.

Strong boundaries make children feel secure and happy.  Think of it like building a safety fence around them.  Their job is to go around and bump against the fence, testing it time and time again, but if it stays firm, they feel safe and loved.  Now as teens get older they can maintain a bit of their own safety fence, but each teen is different.  My daughter could do it at sixteen.  Apparently my son could not.  I think I'll wait until he's eighteen to try again to give him a little more freedom.  Each child matures at a different rate.

Some parents try to be their child's best friend and treat their children as equals, being very permissive.  This is a mistake.  Your child has plenty of friends, but they need a parent.  They will not be happy without clear rules and structure in their life.  When we took in our foster child we made a strict schedule and also posted the rules so he would feel more secure and know what to expect.   What was amazing to me was that my own kids were so much happier too knowing exactly what to expect each day!

I don't think rules need to be enforced with anger.  You can enforce rules using a firm, but kind tone.  Children need to know you love them.  And it is important to give them an increase of love after any altercation.

I also don't think you need so many rules that it would take a computer brain to remember them all.  Just pick the ones you care about, and be consistent about enforcing them with love, which I have talked about in some of my older posts.

Don't get mad when children test the rules.  That is their job.  It is how they feel secure, testing them to be sure they are still there.  If you are inconsistent in enforcing the rules they count on, children will begin acting out more and more because of insecurity.  It's like they are floundering around trying to find where that fence is.

Good luck, and remember, helping children learn to obey will bless them in so many ways in society and the workplace where they will have to obey rules to be happy and successful.

Friday Favorite Family Pins

Today's the day I post some of my favorite pins that support families! It's also NATIONAL DOUGHNUT DAY!!  HOW FUN IS THAT?  (click on the captions to go to the sites)  Enjoy!

(thefrugalgirls.com)

(handletheheat.com)

(organicfamilies.blogspot.com)

(themetapicture.com)

(homeremodelnote.com)

(blog.ashleypichea.com)

(princesspinkygirl.com)

(boulderlocavore.com)

Hope your summer is AWESOME!

Teaching Children How to Work

(earthsavers.typepad.com)

One thing we have noticed as we parent is that many times the classics work the best.  In this case, the good old job chart!  We have tried many ways to teach this vital principle to our children, but the job chart has always worked the best.  We usually link it to some type of reward, it doesn't have to be monetary, just something the child will enjoy.   Yesterday I went in search of differing printable job charts which I will share below, but first...some tips that will help you teach your child how to work successfully.

• Teach the child what the standards are by working with him (many children will need you to work alongside them just because they get lonely and need company while they work.  Sometimes this can be solved by giving them a partner to work with, but it may just be that they need you)
• Use a checklist for the steps of each job.  Post one in each area.  Some people laminate cards on rings for each step.
• Work together as a family.  
• Put on some upbeat music and be silly while you work together.
• Work to help other people and do service for them.  This makes children feel good inside.
• Be kind, don't criticize...just teach.
• Determine whether the child needs the reward weekly or daily to say motivated.
• Make sure it's not so much work that they never get time to play.
• Do not micromanage.  This will discourage the child.  Find things to compliment about what they are doing.  Let go of perfectionism.
• Make sure the job is age appropriate in terms of safety.
• If a child is particularly responsible, do not make them in charge of running the whole household.  A child needs to be a child.  It can be damaging and stressful to make them be the adult in a relationship.
• Change things up every once in awhile to re-motivate.  Change the reward, the chart, the jobs, whatever.

And now....the job charts...click on the captions to go to where you can download the ones you love!

(Squidoo.com)

(corduroydreams.com)

(thecraftingchicks.com)

(scriptures4kids.com)

AND AN ONLINE VERSION!!!!

(onegoodthingbyjillee.com)

FOR MORE IDEAS AND CHARTS:  Go to my parenting pinterest board here.  There are many other printables and ideas for getting children to do their jobs!